The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the
accomplishments and victories of tomorrow. ~ William Boetcker
I battle with depression.
I'm sticking to it and hit my work-out DVD despite wanting to cave in today and quit. I just wanted to curl up in a ball, but I didn't. I'm still wanting to curl up. People can probably tell how insecure, scared, and uncomfortable I am but I still try to put on a brave face and move forward... and I take huge leaps one week, only to move by centimeters the next. This week is a centimeter week with my only goal being to hit my work out schedule and not give in to temptation. I'll do it.
No I haven't given in... I'm still keeping to my diet as well. I'm still eating healthy.
I got myself wrapped up in the Santa Suit, did a little ditty, and was asked to perform for foster kids at a dinner. I'm not kidding. I know it sounds especially Christmas cheesy, but it's true... and, shockingly, I don't want to do it. I normally would. I normally would get so excited to be around kids, but it's not in my heart this week. Christmas is seriously not touching me this year and I'm feeling extremely disconnected from the world around me.
I haven't seen my best friend in 2 years, I haven't seen my mom either, I keep fighting with my wife, I keep fighting with my son, and I'm just sort of spiraling with this sadness and this loneliness. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy or any of that, because then I'd feel embarrassed on top of all that. I'm just expressing my thoughts and the challenges I need to overcome... because despite feeling all of that, I need to keep moving forward. Even if it's a crawl by centimeters.
Never give up, never give in.
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